Rudrakshya (Letting Go: Part 5)

Rudrakshya.

Letting Go 5

"Sir... the file you asked for" Aman handed over a blue file titled, TEJAWAT.

Rudra's eyes lingered over those letters a moment longer than necessary before looking back up at Aman, "Anything new?"

"Sir you might want to see for yourself" Aman was at his cryptic best, "Call me if you need anything else Sir"

Now that he held the file in his hand, Rudra wasn't sure he could go through with this. What about the Thakurein? 

And he desperately wanted to ask, why TEJAWAT of all the men that existed in this world,why of all the people, did his mother have to leave them for TEJAWAT? 

Was there a picture of his mother inside the file?

Was there some incriminating evidence that linked her to his crimes?

Was the BSD aware that the Thakurein was his biological mother?

There were just too many questions, and very little answers. 

And if they ever came face to face, would she recognize her own blood? 

He knew the answer to that one- it had been so long and he was no longer that boy she had left behind. Even though he had never been able to move beyond that abandonment, a lot had changed.

His past was like a recurring nightmare that always came back stronger than before, and always found new ways to inflict pain. With every return, it would leave him drained and worn out emotionally. The fact that he could face his mother in the near future, and she would be siding with the devil was something Rudra was not prepared for, yet. 

Rudra did not want to open that file, it could only mean more pain. He wasn't sure he could take any more and make it through. 

"Major Sahab..." Paro's voice roused him out of that pit of darkness and he looked up to see her stand before his desk like a breath of fresh air - giving precious life to a dying man. He looked on curiously as she walked towards him and signaled for his hand"This will keep you safe now..." 

"Paro..." he tried to stop her but she was adamant, "No Major Sahab, you should never say no to god's blessings, Bholenath will protect you with this. I was wrong in taking it away from you earlier...now its back where it belongs" she wasn't looking at him though and neither was she smiling, he could sense a twinge of melancholy about her. It was so unlike the Paro who had always shown him the light; why then was the light fading around her? He needed her, the only bright spot in his otherwise dark world - he needed all of her, needed that safe anchor that would keep him afloat and never let him drown, "Paro" 

Rudra continued to stare at the Rudraskhya beads now securely tied around his wrist as the images from earlier in the morning played over in his mind. Paro had give his bracelet back. But why?

He narrowed his eyes at the beads noticing that the grooves looked different, of course he would know, he had worn his for years. And this most certainly was not that one! It alarmed him as realization struck without a doubt that this was Paro's, not the one his mother had made him wear forcibly years ago after he had recovered from a serious bout of jaundice, her words, "Bholenath will protect you now..."after he had complained about wearing a religious item to school since it didn't exactly go with his rebellious image. But his mother didn't seem to care, and had been adamant, just like Paro had been in the morning.

Three days later his mother was gone! 

Rudra couldn't stop the chill that ran down his body, But Paro wouldn't leave me? Why would she?? she has no reason to! 

As they approached the step at the other end of the courtyard, Paro glanced back swiftly, only to see an all too familiar silhouette move about their room. She knew, she had made the right choice.

Next: Lies