Paro (Letting Go: Part 2)

Paro.
Letting Go 2

She had always wanted to do this ever since she had first seen the workers work on it for hours on end sometimes even without breaks as Kakisa would be at their back constantly making sure they didn't waste time. And now in the dead of the night, it gave her a strange peace of mind albeit momentarily as she ground the dried chilly in the wooden mortar using the heaviest pestle she could find. She had been at it for a good few minutes and could feel her arms giving away not used to all this physical labour, but Paro did not stop. This kept her mind distracted from other things, the pain that is. Thoughts she had been trying to run away from since the last few hours and the same pain that seemed to come back stronger every time she felt she had overcome it. The same that she could feel hover above her like the darkest clouds she had ever seen in the Birpur monsoon skies. 

It was the dulled sound of the grand-father clock that eventually broke her trance and forced her to look away. Paro turned towards the old wall clock as it struck eleven and as if on cue, her eyes inadvertently darted back to the window of his ... no their room. Even though the curtains were drawn but from where she stood in the courtyard, she could see the silhouette of her Major Saab as he paced the room. Was he planning on sleeping at all? She wondered, how long could she possibly stand outside waiting for him to sleep?

She had already spent the good part of half-an hour helping Maithili clean the kitchen ignoring all of her Jija's pleas to go back to her room and tend to her husband. Paro knew better, and she was keen to hold up her end of the deal, even if it killed her in the process. 

It was a combination of everything, the events of the past twenty-four hours had begun to take their toll, and at this point she wished for nothing more than a comfortable sleep. If only the Major would let her. And unless her senses were numbed by sleep, there was no escaping these thoughts which had become her constant companion. She just could not shake off this feeling of uneasiness that had crept up inside her, a sense of foreboding ever since she had made that pact with Bholenath. She knew the worst of that was yet to come, words were easy - leaving him would be a different game altogether. And all her thoughts seemed to get knotted around that one moment which appeared to be hurling towards her at a frightening pace, if tomorrow Rudra would recover completely, would she be able to leave him? Paro was only sure of one thing, she had to. There was no other choice, not really.

"Paro...what are you doing?" she was jerked out of her thoughts by a familiar voice.

Caught off guard, she struggled to form a response, "jija...I err..." and her eyes found their way back to the window, she couldn't see him anymore.

Sensing her discomfort, Maithili followed the direction of Paro's eyes, and understood, "Has DeverjiSa..."

"No" was the emphatic response and it brought a smile on Maithiii's face, "But I didn't say what..." she replied keeping a keen eye on Paro.

"I couldn't sleep jija so came here for a while..." Paro lied.

"Everything will be alright you know" Maithili's words should have comforted Paro but it brought back the familiar dread, "That's what's keeping me worried..." she blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Kya...?" Mythili narrowed her eyes trying to make sense of Paro and her obvious discomfort, "His hand..." Paro spoke softly, her thoughts still preoccupied by her deal in the temple.

Mythili walked over and cupped her cheeks trying to provide some comfort, "He has you...he will get better"

Paro looked up startled, "better..." How could she ever explain what she feared the most at this point.

"Come let me walk you to your room" Mythili was already dragging her by the arm before Paro could respond. But Paro was not ready to go back, not yet, "Jija.."she stopped her at the threshold before she could touch the door knob, "Show me around the house..."

"Now?" the request surprised Mythili, "but its late..." she paused briefly, and giggled as a realization struck her, "you are right...we should do this now before Majisa wakes up..come..." and just like that they walked away from the door of Rudra's room. 

As they approached the step at the other end of the courtyard, Paro glanced back swiftly, only to see an all too familiar silhouette move about their room. She knew, she had made the right choice.

Next: Rats